CPSG,P – GRIEVING – Some practical Suggestions – YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Grieving: is a Process you have to travel along with hurdles of varying difficulty to overcome
RELY ON FRIENDS: Do not hesitate to let others help if they offer to do so, and you can really use some assistance. Understand, it may be their way of showing you how they feel: perhaps they cannot find the right words – and try to MAKE ALLOWANCES FOR OTHERS: Try to be patient with others. Realize that it is awkward for them – not knowing what to say, they may clumsily say/do the wrong things or you may perceive it wrongly.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH: Grieving can wear you out, especially in the beginning. Your body needs sufficient rest, healthful exercise AND proper nourishment more than ever. A periodic Checkup by your Doctor might be in order.
POSTPONE MAJOR DECISIONS: If possible, wait for at least some time (least 1 year – after first anniversary) until you are thinking more clearly before you decide such things as whether to sell your house, move house or change your job/major activity – RUE THE DAY some may give away many of his/her/its personal possessions later realizing that treasured mementos were given away
BEWARE OF USING MEDICATION or ALCOHOL TO COPE WITH YOUR GRIEF: Any relief offered by drugs or alcohol is temporary at best. Medication should be taken ONLY under a doctor’s supervision. But be careful: many substances are ADDICTIVE. In addition, these may delay the grieving process – a tragedy has to be endured, suffered and eventually rationalized and drugs may prolong/distort the process
BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF: Grief often lasts longer than people generally realize. Yearly reminders of the lost loved one may renew the pangs; special pictures; songs; or even smells can trigger tears. Bereavement may swing dramatically and swiftly uncontrollably from one feeling state to another
GET BACK INTO A REGULAR ROUTINE as soon as possible: You may have to push yourself at first (this is very hard),but PACE YOURSELF – to go out; socialize; go shopping; or to take care of other responsibilities. But you may find that the structure of a normal routine will do a lot of stabilizing good – try and keep busy
DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LET GO OF ACUTE GRIEF: Strange as it may seem, some bereaved ones are afraid to let go of the intense grief/believing that it may indicate their love for the deceased is diminishing. This is simply not the case. Letting go of pain makes way for treasured memories
DO NOT BE UNDULY ANXIOUS: You may find yourself worrying (exaggerated anxiety), ‘What will become of me now? I am ‘lost’ – take each day at a time – each day has its own anxieties – rest and sleep helps to clarity anxiety – and so does carrying out routine duties
HELP is close at hand – if you wish to speak to a Professional: contact the PASYKAF Nurses 99-528585 or via the Cancer Support Helpline 97-760989
JH/Mar 16